Fear of Failure or Fear of Judgment - Insights From a Motivational Speaker
Fear of Failure or Fear of Judgment—What’s Really Holding You Back?
What truly stops us from chasing our dreams? Is it the fear of failure—or something deeper, like the fear of judgment?
This question surfaced during an insightful conversation between Elizabeth Gilbert and Jonathan Fields on The Good Life Project podcast. Their discussion delved into how fear shapes our choices, how creativity is often viewed as indulgent, and how embracing curiosity over fear can lead to a more fulfilling life.
The Power of Authenticity Over Perfection
Jonathan Fields notes that we often pursue polish and perfection instead of focusing on authenticity—on creating something that connects hearts rather than impresses minds. This mirrors a lesson from the music world: Rodriguez’s song Like Janis warns against superficial charm, emphasizing that true value isn’t in appearances but in substance.
I’ve seen this struggle firsthand in my 25+ years in television. Production teams stress over the "look" of a program, yet the reality is that content succeeds when it's compelling. Similarly, on platforms like YouTube, success isn't just about aesthetics; it's about genuine storytelling. The hunger for new content can be exhausting, but authenticity always stands out.
The Myth That Creativity is Selfish
Elizabeth Gilbert challenges the belief that pursuing creativity is selfish. Many hesitate to engage in creative work because they fear they are taking something away from the world. However, when we meet someone whose work has inspired us, our first instinct is to say, Thank you. Creativity, then, is an act of community service—it enriches others.
Jonathan Fields adds that when we see someone so fully engaged in what they love, we’re drawn to it. Their passion ignites something in us, reminding us that we too can find what lights us up.
Is It Really Fear of Failure?
One of the most striking moments of the podcast is when Gilbert and Fields explore whether fear of failure is the real obstacle—or if it’s actually fear of judgment.
Consider the popular phrase: What would you do if you knew you could not fail? It’s meant to be inspiring, yet it has never resonated with me. A more accurate question might be: What would you do if no one were watching?
I think back to my attempts at surfing. I’ve experienced the thrill of catching the perfect wave—twice. But I missed countless others, not because I was afraid of falling, but because I feared falling in front of others. I didn’t want to look like a beginner among seasoned surfers. If no one had been watching, I would have taken every wave, learned faster, and mastered the craft.
This fear of judgment isn’t limited to surfing. It exists in boardrooms, classrooms, and creative pursuits. We hold back not because we’re afraid to fail, but because we’re afraid of failing publicly.
Reframing Fear as an Ally
Gilbert offers a powerful reframe: Instead of fighting fear, walk alongside it. Fear has a purpose—it keeps us safe. But when it shows up in non-life-threatening situations, like writing a book or giving a presentation, we need to acknowledge it without letting it take control.
She describes fear as an overzealous security guard, always on high alert. When she sits down to write and fear surfaces, she tells it, Thanks for showing up, but no one is going to die today.
Fear vs. Growth: The Same Feeling, Different Meaning
Fear has energy. It sends a signal: Something important is happening. But we must discern between two types of fear.
- Protective fear—telling us to avoid real danger (e.g., Don’t step too close to the cliff).
- Growth fear—signaling an opportunity to evolve (e.g., This challenge matters deeply to me).
I’ve felt the same stomach-knotting fear before stepping on stage for my first magic show as I have when facing real danger while rock climbing. Learning to distinguish between these signals is crucial. One warns of imminent harm; the other indicates a chance for transformation.
Courage is Contagious
Gilbert emphasizes that courage is a muscle that can be trained—and, just as importantly, it’s contagious. Encouragement literally means to give courage to another. When we see someone boldly pursuing their passion, it emboldens us to do the same.
She also proposes replacing the word creative with curious. Many say, I’m not creative, but would they ever say, I’m not curious? Curiosity is innate—it’s the driving force behind learning, growth, and change.
Final Thought: What Will You Choose?
Next time you feel fear holding you back, ask yourself: Is this fear protecting me, or is it preventing me from growing?
If it’s the latter, acknowledge it, thank it for its concern, and then move forward anyway. Because on the other side of fear is the life you were meant to live.
