Restore The Alliance - Insights From a Motivational Speaker

Lost Boys, Loud Girls, and the Quiet Crisis We’re All In

 We don’t need to pick a side—we need to pick a direction. Understanding isn’t weakness. It’s how we get wise.

This thinking was sparked by the excellent podcast episode “Lost Boys: A Feminist Perspective on Lost Boys” (10 July 2025).
It’s a raw, messy, and honest conversation about the state of young men, the progress of women, and what happens when we lose the script—and the plot.

This is my takeaway, through the lens of someone trying to be the best grandad he can be.

If five young people die by suicide, and four of them are male, we have a problem.
If 2,500 women are murdered each year—mostly by men they know—we have a problem.

And if we think we have to choose which problem deserves more attention, then we’ve got a bigger problem.

WISE UP: The Truth Has Layers

Young men are struggling.

• They’re falling behind in school.

• They’re struggling with dating and connection.

• They’re showing up in morgues, in prisons, in online rabbit holes.

Meanwhile, women are surging forward—with good reason and hard-earned momentum.

• They're dominating education.

• They're navigating a workplace still tilted against them.

• They’re dealing with real fears about their safety, rights, and opportunities.

This isn’t a blame game. It’s a wake-up call.

We’re witnessing two truths at once:

• The patriarchy never worked for women.

• The collapse of it is confusing the hell out of young men.

Why This Matters to Grandparents

Here’s the kicker:
We built the world they’re inheriting.

And our grandkids—boys and girls—will be shaped by how well we understand that world, and whether we help fix it… or just complain from the sidelines.

We can’t just gift them stuff.
We need to gift them wisdom, guidance, and the tools to live in a world full of change, contradiction, and complexity.

That means:

• Teaching boys emotional strength, not just physical toughness.

• Helping girls protect their progress while staying safe and supported.

• Modeling empathy and responsibility—especially when it's uncomfortable.

WISE UP > THEN STEP UP

This isn’t about choosing sides.
It’s about choosing to show up.

Let’s not leave our grandkids with the same zero-sum, “us vs. them” mindset that got us into this mess.

Let’s raise a generation that knows how to:

• Own up to the truth of history

• Wise up to the complexity of the present

• Step up for each other’s future

💬 If you’re a grandparent, or you have one who shaped your life, I’d love to hear from you.
What did they teach you about what it means to be a man, or a woman, or just a good human?

Drop a comment. Forward this to a friend. Let’s talk about it. Let’s restore the alliance.

Because the best gift you can give your grandkids isn’t stuff.
It’s you.

—
Julian