The Perils of Comparison - Insights From a Motivational Speaker
Now back in 2006
I was starting to feel old.
I had started to sense that I’d been on the vine too long.
the first pangs of my youth leaving me.
I was about to hop on a plane to Indonesia
I was getting ready
I looked into the mirror
and I said to my wife
look at this hairline.. it’s going north
look at these extra chins
look at these hairs sprouting out my ears
look at this gut
I said is there anything positive you can say about this body?
And she said: well your eyesights not failing
so the point is I was in a bit of a funk about my age
I felt like the good years were going
if you’re going to travel on plane cattle class, business, first,private
I was flying on the government jet with Australia’s then Foreign Minister on an official trip to Indonesia.
On that flight over,
in the lovely leather chairs,
I sat next to Cynthia Banham from Sydney Morning Herald newspaper
We got chatting about running.
I used to run
but retired injured
and she was running now training for marathons.
Well this wasn’t helping with my self pity about getting older
We did 3 days filming with the Indonesian President
and I met Morgan Mellish from another newspaper
the Australian Financial review
He was tall and fit,
a surfer,
a foreign correspondent
charming, friendly
with his future ahead bright
and standing next to him
I felt like a lumpy potato
I was a little bit envious to be honest.
There was one more official engagement to attend,
and that was on the way home.
From Jakarta
we were to fly to Jogjakarta,
attend an official engagement there,
then fly home
Now just because I flew over on the government jet
I wasn’t guaranteed I was on the government jet home.
It’s more like a lottery for journalists.
And it’s really worth winning because if you lost
in this instance
you’d have to get up at 4am,
battle the Jakarta traffic
and get a chaotic Garuda flight to Jogjakarta
and if you won
you got a leisurely start
and
a police motorcade
to the private jet
So the next morning
as -I’m- sitting- comfortably -in- the- police motorcade
gliding effortlessly through the traffic to the private jet
I did find a moment to spare a thought for Cynthia Banham
and her running prowess
and Morgan Mellish and his ascendant career
as I knew they were battling the system on a crowded plane bound for Jogjakarta.
I was waiting in the private lounge to board …
and the mood changed.
Reports started coming through of a Garuda plane
overshooting the runway at Jogjakarta
and bursting into flames.
It was the plane I was to have been on.
21 dead
Morgan Mellish ..
with his ascendant career and boyish charm and energy ..
he came back home to Australia in a coffin
Cynthia Banham …
she flew home a month later …
horrible burns to 70% of her body ..
and her running career over …
she had both legs amputated
Me … well I’m here to tell you the folly of comparing yourself to other people
Now I get it,
comparing yourself is human
but it’s such a pointless exercise
a little bit of comparison
yep, can be useful
but after that
it’s damaging
if you're running a race
its useful to look over your shoulders
and get a sense of where your competitors are
but you need to then get your eyes focused straight ahead
and run your own race
cause if you don't focus on running your own race
you will veer of course
try it
go out into a park
pick a point to run to
and then look continuously off to the side
you’ll find yourself running that way.
You run where you look.
and you’ll find your self on a diversion
and as we all know from
being diverted in at roadworks
it takes longer
so if you are on your tailor made career journey
and you start comparing yourself to others
and trying to match them
play their game
apart from having your vital energy sucked dry
as mark Twain said,
‘comparison is the death of joy’
you’re going to take longer to get to your goal
which will in some way hurt you and your chances
so if you must compare then compare yourself
to last week’s version of yourself
are you closer to new version of yourself
the one you wrote about in your REAL ME CV
or maybe you see you have stalled
comparison here is useful
comparing yourself against others not so
How good would it have been to have a Mr Miyagi in your life?
You know he shared all that wonderful insight to the young Daniel
wax on wax off
in the Karate Kid movie
Now I’m no Mr Miyagi but I can point you in the right direction
and I’ll tell you how in the next episode
SUMMARY:
The passage reflects on a pivotal moment in the author’s life in 2006 when he was grappling with feelings of aging and inadequacy. While on a government jet to Indonesia, he met fellow journalists who seemed to embody vitality and success, which heightened his self-doubt. However, a tragic plane accident involving a flight he could have taken shifted his perspective dramatically. The author emphasizes that while comparing oneself to others is a natural instinct, it is ultimately counterproductive and detrimental to personal growth. Instead, he advocates for self-comparison as a more constructive approach, urging individuals to focus on their own progress and journey rather than getting distracted by others' paths.
Lessons Learned:
- Avoid Comparison: Comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and distract you from your unique journey.
- Focus on Your Journey: Concentrate on your own goals and progress instead of measuring yourself against others.
- Self-Comparison: Assess your growth by comparing yourself to your past self rather than to others; this can provide valuable insights into your progress.
- Acknowledge Your Strengths: Recognize your achievements and strengths instead of dwelling on perceived shortcomings.
- Be Grateful for Your Situation: Life can change in an instant; appreciate your current circumstances and opportunities.
- Run Your Own Race: Stay focused on your path; looking away can lead you off course and delay your progress toward your goals.
This reflection serves as a reminder to embrace individuality and pursue personal growth without getting bogged down by societal comparisons.
