9 Rules Successful People Break - Insights From a Motivational Speaker

Successful People Break the Rules: How to Master the Skills of Change

Most people live by a set of unwritten rules:

• Get good grades.
• Get a steady job.
• Work hard.
• Get promoted.
• Retire.

This is the traditional, linear path to success. It’s predictable, stable, and comfortable. But in a fast-changing world, those who thrive aren’t the ones who follow a predetermined route. They’re the ones who master the skills of change—adapting, innovating, and creating opportunities where others see obstacles.

If you want to lead a more fulfilled, impactful life, here’s how successful people break the rules—not by rebelling, but by mastering the mindset and skills that make change work for them.

1. From Linear to Exponential

Most people live life in a straight line. School leads to a job, which leads to promotions, which leads to retirement. But successful people don’t buy into that model. They don’t wait their turn. They think in exponential terms.

Instead of following the next logical step, they ask:

• What if I could skip steps?
• What if I could create my own path?
• What if success wasn’t about climbing a ladder but about building my own?

You don’t need permission to live a rewarding life. The skills of change—curiosity, adaptability, and continuous learning—are what separate those who break the mold from those who get stuck in it.

2. The Best Story Wins

People don’t connect with facts; they connect with stories. And successful people know that how you tell your story matters more than what your story is about.

Whether you're pitching an idea, applying for a job, or leading a team through change, storytelling is a skill that makes people pay attention. The ability to frame your experiences in a compelling way isn’t just nice to have—it’s essential in a world where attention is the most valuable currency.

3. Luck is Like a Bus—Be Ready to Hop On

Opportunities come and go, just like buses. The problem? Most people aren’t ready when the right one comes along.

Success isn’t about waiting for luck—it’s about preparing for it. The people who seem “lucky” are actually just skilled at recognizing opportunities and taking action. They stay open, they experiment, and they aren’t afraid to fail.

If you want to catch the next bus, start sharpening your skills now. Build relationships, learn new things, and put yourself in situations where luck can find you.

4. If You Want to Be Valued, Be Valuable

Too many people focus on what they deserve rather than what they offer.

Successful people flip that thinking. They don’t wait for recognition; they develop skills, solve problems, and create value for others. The more valuable you become—through expertise, problem-solving, and leadership—the more the world will reward you in return.

5. If You Want to Be Trusted, Be Trustworthy

Trust isn’t given; it’s earned. And it’s built through consistency.

• Do what you say you’ll do.
• Own your mistakes.
• Show up when it matters.

People who master change don’t just adapt quickly; they also build strong relationships that sustain them through uncertainty.

6. If You Want Adventures, Be Adventurous

Risk-taking isn’t about recklessness—it’s about calculated boldness. Successful people create their own adventures by saying yes to challenges, pushing past their comfort zones, and embracing discomfort as a part of growth.

If you want an interesting life, you have to be willing to live an interesting life.

7. Talk in Front of People’s Backs, Not Behind Them

Integrity isn’t just about what you do—it’s about how you speak. Instead of gossiping or undermining others, successful people give praise and feedback where it counts: directly to the people who need to hear it.

If you respect someone’s work, tell them. If you see room for improvement, address it constructively. Trust is built through honesty, not whispers.

8. Stop Looking for Playbooks—Write Your Own

There’s no single formula for success. Every so-called "playbook" worked because someone leaned into their unique strengths. Instead of copying someone else’s path, successful people ask:

• What am I great at?
• What problems can I solve?
• How can I create my own path instead of following someone else’s?

The ability to navigate change isn’t about following rules—it’s about learning the skills to write your own rules.

9. It’s Amazing What You Don’t Get When You Don’t Ask

Most people assume that opportunities are out of reach. But successful people know that one of the most powerful skills is simply asking.

Alex Banyan once met Tony Hsieh, the CEO of Zappos, at a party. He asked if he could shadow him for a day. Tony said yes—but admitted that no one had ever asked before.

The lesson? If you don’t ask, you don’t get. The worst thing someone can say is no. But when you do ask, you open doors that others don’t even realize exist.

Mastering Change Is a Skill—And It’s One You Can Learn

Success isn’t about breaking the rules for the sake of rebellion. It’s about mastering the skills of change—adaptability, communication, boldness, and problem-solving.

The good news? These are skills anyone can learn. You don’t need permission to live an extraordinary life. You just need the willingness to embrace change and take action.

If your team or organization needs help building a change-ready culture, let’s talk. Julian Mather’s CHANGEABILITY keynote is designed to help leaders and teams navigate change with confidence. Reach out today to book Julian for your next event.