Everyone Pays the Change Tax - Insights From a Motivational Speaker

Change hurts. Up, down, sideways. But here’s the kicker: no one gets a discount.

In a recent episode of Change Signal, Cassandra Worthy shared a raw, energizing truth: resistance to change is universal. Not just for frontline staff. Not just for senior leaders. Everyone feels it. Everyone pays.

It reminded me of something I learned not from a boardroom, but behind a camera.

I spent decades as a documentary cameraman filming people at their most exposed. CEOs. Street performers. Politicians. Refugees. What I learned over and over was this: EVERYONE STRUGGLES. EVERYONE PAYS.

We often look at people above us on the ladder and think, “Must be nice up there.” What we don’t see are the sleepless nights, the head-banging frustration, the silent stew of misery that comes with leading or being led through change. It’s easy to assume that power makes change easier—but Cassandra put it perfectly:

“It's not like one side is having a good time and the other side is having a bad time. It's like it's a stew of misery for everybody involved.”

Whether you’re issuing the memo or receiving it, change often feels like chaos. So what do most of us do? We pick our usual defense:

• Blame the boss.

• Blame the process.

• Blame them—whoever they are.

But that’s a trap. Cassandra talked about a turning point in her own story. When a mentor cut through her frustration with a truth bomb:

“You can get bitter, or you can get better. It’s your choice.”

It sounds deceptively simple. But it’s not simplistic. It's agency in action.

That shift—from victim of change to agent of change—is the real superpower. Cassandra calls it “Change Enthusiasm.” I call it “Owning It.” Different language, same truth: you can’t control everything, but you can always control how you show up.

And when leaders model that mindset? Game-changer. Because when teams see that you’re not immune to change, but you’re willing to grow through it, they lean in. They stop bracing and start embracing.

This isn't motivational fluff. It's biological. When we feel powerless, we lash out. Cassandra described a vicious cycle:

“As I feel myself diminish, I objectify and vilify others. As I do that, I feel myself diminish further.”

The way out? Agency. Accountability. A conscious decision to take a step—even a small one—toward “better.”

I've often thought every school leaver should do a course called Real Business 101. Not accounting or economics. But a year embedded in the messy human reality of business. The politics. The pivots. The people. The pain. Why? Because when you understand the struggle, you're less likely to resist change blindly. You see it's not personal—it's universal.

And here's the good news: struggle can be fuel.

• The frustration? Fuel for curiosity.

• The resistance? A signal that something meaningful is shifting.

• The discomfort? A doorway to growth.

If you’re leading change—at home, at work, anywhere—don’t pretend it’s easy. Instead, show what it looks like to choose “better” over “bitter.”

Be the person who takes responsibility, even when it’s easier to blame. That’s not weakness. That’s leadership.

Because in a world allergic to discomfort and addicted to quick fixes, the real leaders are the ones who own it—and help others do the same.