Reacting or Responding - Insights From a Motivational Speaker
Are You Reacting to Life or Responding with Purpose?
Have you ever felt like life is just happening to you? That you’re constantly scrambling to keep up, reacting to problems as they arise rather than taking control of your day? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us slip into a reactive mode without even realizing it. But what if we could shift from reacting to life’s demands to responding with intention and purpose?
In episode 245 of I Love Marketing, Craig Ballantyne shares his 3C Formula for structuring the perfect day. He explains how successful people aren’t just lucky—they’re proactive. They plan, prepare, and take action. In contrast, those who struggle often live in a reactive state, allowing circumstances to dictate their actions.
The Trap of Reactivity
Joe Polish kicks off the conversation by asking where people go wrong in controlling their lives. Craig’s response is clear: “People that are struggling are reactive, successful people are proactive … they plan, they prepare, they take action.”
One of the biggest reasons people struggle is that they allow emotions to dictate their decisions. Kekich Credo #44 states, “If you don’t act beyond your feelings and you take the path of least resistance, then you give into laziness, make bad decisions, and no longer control your life.” This is where many people get stuck—constantly reacting instead of designing their days with intention.
Craig emphasizes that empire builders spend hours on mental work, whether it’s planning, strategizing, or creating routines that set them up for success. It’s this deliberate effort that moves them forward rather than allowing them to drift aimlessly.
From Reactive to Intentional: A Personal Shift
The insights from this episode resonate deeply with my own experience. In 2016, I felt like I was drowning in purpose—full of ideas but lacking direction. Instead of gaining traction, I scrambled from one project to another, hoping for momentum. I worked tirelessly, often into the early hours, yet my wheels kept spinning in the mud.
Then, at the start of 2017, I made a decision: enough was enough. Without much effort, I began living with more intention. I started waking up at 5 a.m., walking while listening to podcasts, eating breakfast, and dedicating focused writing time between 7 a.m. and 9 a.m. Just two weeks in, everything changed—my mindset, my productivity, and my overall sense of control. I had unknowingly transitioned from a reactive life to a proactive one.
The Power of Structure: The 3C Formula
Craig Ballantyne’s 3C Formula is rooted in the wisdom of the ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus:
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Control what you can.
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Cope with what you can’t.
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Concentrate on what counts.
He suggests applying these principles throughout the day:
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Morning: Control the day by setting your rules and routines.
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Afternoon: Cope with challenges and setbacks using structured systems.
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Evening: Concentrate on the bigger picture—relationships, experiences, and long-term vision.
One of the most profound takeaways is that we can’t control external circumstances—our boss’s demands, the weather, or traffic delays. However, we can control how we react. Instead of wasting energy on frustration, we can focus on optimizing what’s within our power.
Breaking the OCD Loops
Another key concept Craig introduces is the OCD loop, where people compulsively check social media, emails, and notifications in an endless cycle. This was a defining feature of my 2016, but I broke the pattern by setting boundaries. I stopped checking emails first thing in the morning, limited social media to specific windows, and acted on emails immediately rather than letting them pile up. These small shifts dramatically reduced distractions and improved my focus.
The Introvert’s Perspective: Energy Management
Craig also discusses the difference between introverts and extroverts in handling the world. While introverts recharge by spending time alone, extroverts draw energy from social interactions. Regardless of personality type, using it as an excuse to avoid growth is counterproductive. We all need to engage with the world in meaningful ways while respecting our individual needs.
Why Run When No One’s Chasing?
A simple mindset shift that’s saved me stress over the years is something magicians use: Why run when no one’s chasing? Magicians know that audiences don’t know what’s coming next, so they stay relaxed instead of telegraphing their moves.
This applies to life. I used to stress about being late, caught in traffic, feeling the weight of an impending delay. Then I realized—until I tell someone I’m late, they’re not even worried. They’re sipping coffee, unaware of my predicament. The moment I recognized this, my stress melted away. If I can’t change a situation, why waste energy on it?
Final Thoughts: Designing a Life of Purpose
Living reactively is easy but unfulfilling. It leaves us feeling out of control, constantly chasing rather than creating. By taking ownership of our mornings, setting intentional rules, and focusing on what truly matters, we shift from reacting to responding.
So, ask yourself: Are you merely reacting to life, or are you responding with purpose?
If you’re stuck in reactivity, start small. Implement a morning routine. Set boundaries with distractions. Control what you can, cope with what you can’t, and concentrate on what counts. Your future self will thank you.
