Stop Lying to Yourself - Insights From a Motivational Speaker

Stop Lying to Yourself—It’s Costing You More Than You Think

What if the little lies you tell every day are holding you back from learning, growing, and truly connecting with others?

This insight emerged from a powerful conversation between Simon Sinek and Jonathan Fields on The Good Life Project. During their discussion, Sinek shared a pivotal realization: “When we lie all the time, we are actually denying ourselves the opportunity to learn.”

This idea is more profound than it appears. We often think of lying in extreme terms—deception, manipulation, or covering up mistakes. But what about the small, seemingly harmless lies we tell?

• How was your meal? “Fine.” (Even when it wasn’t.)
• Did you do your research? “A little.” (Even when you didn’t.)
• Do you understand? “Yes.” (Even when you don’t.)

These lies protect our ego, preserve our social standing, and keep the peace. But at what cost?

The Fear Behind Our Lies

Sinek explains that our instinct to lie is deeply rooted in our survival instincts. For 40,000 years, we lived in tightly knit groups where belonging meant survival. Those who were excluded from the pack were left vulnerable—much like the weaker gazelles on the outskirts of a herd, easy prey for predators.

Even though our world has changed, our brains haven’t. We still fear looking ignorant, weak, or unworthy of belonging. So, we fake competence, nod along, and avoid admitting when we don’t know something.

But when Sinek committed to telling zero lies for 48 hours, he had a breakthrough.

A Moment of Truth

During this experiment, he visited an important institution. When asked about his research, his usual instinct would have been to say, “Oh, a little.” But this time, he stuck to his commitment and simply said, “None.”

Instead of losing credibility, he gained valuable knowledge. His host took the time to explain things he wouldn’t have discovered on his own. That’s when it hit him: Our lies don’t just protect us—they limit us.

If we pretend to know everything, we close ourselves off to learning anything new.

Leadership, Trust, and the Power of Truth

This lesson extends beyond personal growth—it’s foundational to leadership. Trust is built when leaders are honest, open, and willing to admit what they don’t know.

Sinek contrasts two approaches to leadership:

• The short-sighted leader focuses on numbers, sacrificing people for profit.
• The true leader invests in people, building long-term trust and sustainable success.

He points to companies like Costco, where employees are valued and trust their leadership. Over time, businesses that prioritize people often outperform those obsessed with short-term gains.

Why This Matters for You

Sinek’s insights aren’t just for CEOs—they apply to all of us. Whether in personal relationships, careers, or everyday conversations, embracing honesty opens doors:

1. Learning Becomes Easier – Asking questions and admitting what you don’t know leads to growth.
2. Relationships Deepen – Trust flourishes when we’re real with each other.
3. Leadership Strengthens – Transparency inspires confidence and respect.

If you want to grow, stop pretending to have all the answers. Instead, embrace the mindset Sinek recommends: “I’m here to give. I don’t want your approval. I just want to serve.”

When we let go of the fear of looking foolish, we unlock the freedom to truly learn, lead, and connect. So, the next time you’re tempted to tell a small lie—pause. You might just be denying yourself an opportunity to grow.